So, slight change in costume. Turns out the orginal one was on backorder so Ricca and I went to a Halloween superstore in Massachusetts and got my costume:
I have the black dress, boa and headband but I have fishnets and 3 inch heels to wear. Ricca said I'll be lucky to make it to the party! HAHA.
I got a text this morning asking me if I wanted to go to another Halloween party tonight after the one we are planning on going too. Of course I said yes. I haven't gone out on Halloween in soooo long, I am going to take full advantage of it! For the last 4 years, every time we were invited to a party, Dan would not let me go. His ex-wife was always invited and he didn't want us in the same room so I didn't go. I stayed home and moped and he came home drunk and passed out and I cried because I didn't trust that he didn't do anything while he was there. I really don't know why I put myself through the torture I did, but at least I finally woke up! I keep telling Ricca he came along at the right time!
Ricca spent the night Wednesday and I told him something I have NEVER told anyone before. I don't know why and I don't know what brought it up. Well actually I do. We were talking about being able to trust people and I finally broke down and told him why I had such a hard time trusting any male figure in my life, relative or friend. It all stems from way back when I was a child and I've blocked out alot but it all came to the surface Wednesday. I guess I must really trust him since I told him what I did and he told me he was honored, for lack of a better word, that he was the first one I had told.
Last night, Ricca and I went to see the Boondock Saints Double Feature at the local cinema. Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day was released in only 16 cinemas at midnight and we were lucky enough to be one. They showed the original at 10 and then obviously the new one at midnight. OMG! I loved Boondock Saints but seriously you HAVE to see the second one! Soooo good. Same characters, just 10 years old. It's an amazing movie!
Is it wrong that only after 4 months Ricca and I feel so strongly about each other? I know he is only 21 but I am finding myself falling head over heels in love with him. He tells me all the time how amazing I am and how he can't believe I ever fell for a guy like him. I can't explain it but he makes me feel so good about myself. I don't have much self esteem, as you can probably tell by reading this blog, but he manages to make me feel like I am queen all the time. I get random texts at work telling me he misses me or he loves me. He has me dreaming about having more kids. He talks about us getting married and having kids. He talks about me being Mrs. Ricca and usually that would scare me, but it doesn't anymore. I would love to be able to give Jonathan a little sister or brother. I would love to get remarried to someone who I know I can trust to take care of me, my son and our children. I'm just so in love with Ricca...
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